


Mourning

by Jutschina



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Episode: s01e13 End of Days, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:41:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5405141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jutschina/pseuds/Jutschina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to the ending of "End of Days". After Jack dies, Ianto mourns him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the last day of the Torchwood fic week.
> 
> I had a great time and much fun writing during this week, and I'm very proud that I managed to finish four fics for it. I hope you enjoyed my work, and if you did - or if you want to criticise something - I'd really appreciate it if you leave a comment, however short it may be. 
> 
> Thank you for reading ♥

He had hoped to never feel like that again.

Ianto closed the door of Jack's office and leaned against it for a moment, slowly exhaling and trying to keep himself together.

A bit earlier, he'd gone down to the morgue where Gwen was watching over Jack's body. She'd been there all day. Ianto had wanted to ask her to give him a minute, had wanted a bit of time for himself, but he hadn't come that far. As soon as he'd walked up the aisle, Gwen had positioned herself in front of Jack's body in a protective manner: "No! You're not freezing him yet, Ianto! I believe in him! He's going to come back!"

Ianto figured that he could have explained things but he hadn't. He'd just nodded and left.

Instead, he'd come here, to Jack's office. The very sight of all the man's belongings made Ianto's heart ache in his chest. He hadn't thought it would be like this - well, yeah, grieving for Jack, of course - but _this_ , this hole, this tearing emptiness inside his chest, it was all too familiar. He remembered feeling like this after Lisa's death.

Ianto's lower lip started trembling, and he bit it to withhold the tears. He had to stay strong.

He'd watched Jack coming back from death after Owen had shot him, and so, of course, Ianto had shared Gwen's hopes in the beginning - god, he'd clung onto them. But it didn't happen. Gwen would realise that sooner or later as well, she was the stubborn sort, so the team would let her take her time, but eventually she'd have to let go, just as they all did.

Slowly, Ianto stepped further into the room that still had all the traces of Jack's presence. Absentmindedly, he straightened the files on the Captain's desk. As he raised his glance, he saw the grey coat, hanging in its usual place, and it was just too much. Slowly, Ianto moved over and took it of the hook. He buried his face in the coat, inhaling Jack's scent, still so present as if he'd just worn it, and finally, finally, he allowed himself to let it out and cry.

 

 

Days passed. And the empty hole in Ianto's heart grew. Gwen was still sitting with Jack, but Ianto had passed the state of hope. His mourning was silent and well hidden under the professional armour of his suit. He was good at keeping his grief to himself.

It was easier than after Lisa. Back then, he'd been suspended for a month, condemned to do nothing, alone with his thoughts. Now he had his work. Even though it didn't help that it was work at _Torchwood_ where every bit of his surroundings reminded him of Jack.

Tosh had come down to the Archives earlier - where Ianto had stared at some file that Jack had filled in, and had remembered all of the Captain's complaints and excuses when he didn't want to do the paper work. She'd asked him to help her upstairs with the clean-up and rewiring of the work stations. There wasn't all that much to do, and Tosh didn't really need him there, but Ianto understood the gesture. They worked together in silence, neither of them much of a talker but both thankful for the other's company, and the welsh man felt some weight being lifted from his soul.

Then, all of a sudden, Tosh started running across the Hub. Ianto wondered what had happened, if Gwen had finally come out of the morgue, and he turned around.

She had. And with her was Jack, alive, Jack who now with a smile welcomed Tosh's embrace and held her tight.

Ianto shot right up. A part of him wondered if this was really happening, and he felt numb and dizzy as he walked over to Jack, unable to turn his eyes away from the man for the split of a second.

And then he hesitated. He just about had realised for himself that Jack meant more to him than a shag or a friend, so how could he know about the Captain's feelings? What did Jack expect from him?

Awkwardly, he stretched out his hand - but Jack pulled him in for an embrace, and Ianto leaned into it and held the man tight. He buried his nose in Jack's shoulder, breathing in his wonderful, unique scent - _"51st century pheromones, you people have no idea"_ , never would Ianto forget _that_ conversation - and he wanted to cry again, but this time out of happiness.

Then Jack kissed him, and Ianto closed his eyes and returned the kiss whole-heartedly. He'd never talked about his _thing_ with Jack to the others, and neither had Jack; judging from Owen's recent pejorative comment about Ianto dreaming to be Jack's part-time shag, he guessed that they suspected something was going on between them, but they didn't know. For Ianto, that had always been just fine, he liked to keep quiet about it - and that had nothing to do with the fact that Jack was a man or that he was their boss, but with the way of Ianto's nature. Now on the other hand, he couldn't care less about what anyone saw and what they thought.

Only reluctantly, Ianto let go of Jack when the Captain spotted Owen and (just as reluctantly) pulled away. But it was fine now - Jack was back, and the emptiness in Ianto's heart began to vanish, being filled up with something else, warm and true and beautiful. Yeah, now it would be alright.


End file.
